September 27, 2011


I am a proud Indian. Someone who is proud about her culture, tradition and heritage. The rituals and practices performed and followed from yesteryears have always amazed me. Everything has a reason, and everything has a significance, whatever is done, is done for a good cause and a valid reason, I believe. Well, that’s my mind-set and it hasn’t been forced on me, it comes to me naturally, it runs in my blood, it’s a genetic ‘present’ from my fore-fathers to me, the ‘present’. And that’s the best part about being an Indian, and living the Indian way. (By saying ‘Living the Indian way’, I do not wish to classify ourselves in any category.) One thing follows the other naturally. Sometimes I see this being mixed up with “narrow- mindedness” or “not-being-modern” or “backward-ness”! Why? Just because we are a developing nation? Or because we don’t have a say for anything? Or just because we are so strong about something that people start thinking of it as our weakness? That’s bullshit!!!!!!
And excuse me! To all those people who think so, I feel that ‘you’, yes “you” are aping western culture by thinking so! You might be a die-hard-fan of Casanovas like Barney Stinson of “How I Met Your Mother” or Charlie of “Two and a Half Men”, but, “seriously!!!” it’s their lifestyle and their way of living, not ours. Being Indian doesn't just mean celebrating Independence Day or Republic Day, it’s sad but these days are seen to be as mere holidays for recreation and nothing more. I rarely see the true spirit of being an Indian in India anymore.

We have our way of living. You think Indian culture is not cool..?! FINE!!! Stop bitching about it. Everyone has their sentiments; learn to respect it, firstly. Secondly, if you can’t contribute to it, don’t do any harm to it. Being responsible grown-ups, it’s our duty to teach our siblings, children etc. our culture.

Marriage. Over 90% of the Indian marriages are still arranged, and less than 5% end in divorce. Only at the age of 18 I came to know that a concept of love marriages, and if it existed I knew that it was a disastrous situation or something synonymous of world war :-P. Why is it that people think that love should precede a marriage? Can’t it be the other way round? Love can be arranged. No, it’s not an agreement or an arrangement. It’s a practice, and that’s how it has been since yesteryear's. There is a right time for everything. Too much thinking outta the box, is not gonna help, my friend. Again, I don’t intend to say that my thinking is universal. It’s just my thinking and I’m highly opinionated about it.

The Ramayana is one of my favorite reads till date. I idealize the “Rama-Sita-Jodi”. Every girl dreams of getting married to a guy like Shri Ramachandra (*Forget Prince Charming on a horse/ Vampire in a Volvo for the time- being* :-P :-P). And yes, I totally appreciate what Savithri did for saving her husband Satyavan’s life, from Yama- The Lord of Death. An Indian woman is loyal, committed and trustworthy. “One man, one life”. She is powerful. She is daring. She is charismatic. She is nurturing. She is devoted to her husband. (*Tuj mein rab dikhta hai, yaara mai kya karu types :-P :-P*)(*If you are thinking about infidelity, stop reading this post right now, and just get the hell outta here*)

God. Yes, he is present. Omnipresent. Everyone due to a religion divide in India follow (*don’t think twitter*) different Gods. Even I do. But, I do believe that there is an enormous energy that guides us throughout our life. This energy controls the universe, sometimes this energy is manifested in an idol, or a sculpture, or a picture or a scared scripture. That depends on you. But, it does exist. What’s with these atheists these days? That’s not cool! Rather “kewl”!! Gimme a break guys!

Prayer. It generates positive vibes, for me, atleast. And in turn, affects us in a good way. It’s a way to connect to the energy we believe in. Chanting shlokas and mantras makes us powerful, stronger from within. Again, it should not be confused with blind- faith. Haven’t you heard, “Faith can move mountains!”. It’s a way of the finite to connect with the infinite. Get connected! Trust me, it’s better than your 3G Reliance connections! Huh ! Coz, when everything turns topsy-turvy, you think of your last resort, God.

Family. The concept of nuclear family is increasing day by day. Joint families are no more common. Well, personally I would not give my opinion on this, but it is a great feeling to live with all your chacha-chachis, mama-mamis, foofa-buas [hindi]/ chithi-chitappas, athai- atthimbers, thatha-paatis[tamizh]. It is a great way to learn from childhood, to adjust and adapt and mainly, to live and love different kinds of people. The children who  grow up in such an environment are smarter and resistant to many things in life, in the long run, I feel. This generation overlooks family-bonding and prefers privacy. Way to go, guys! Bring up your kids in isolation and make them aliens.

We have our own identity as Indians. 

And it is our biggest strength. 

We should protect our heritage and culture. 

And must be proud of it. 

Love yourself with your heart and soul for what you are 

and from where you belong. 

Only then you will sense the true spirit of being an Indian. 

Be static from the inner, it will make you dynamic from the outer. :-) :-) :-)

Celebrating Being-Indian & More!

September 16, 2011

Secret Admirer

I'm Roxanne. I live in New York City. I'm 22. A proud American. Single. I'm doing my masters in Psychology. I do a part time job in McDonalds and I'm not loving it!! Argh! I'm an independent gal and my lifestyle sucks. I get up at 6am. Have a Starbucks coffee in the morning, rushing to college. Lunch in the campus. After classes, I rush to McD for work. Get back at night, hang around with my pals in the bar. Fag and booze. Get laid every other day with a random guy. Get back to my house past 2am and crash. Usually sleep- deprived! LOL! Mom and her BF live in San Diego. Dad and his GF live in St. Louis. I meet them occasionally, for Christmas or Easter. Life has been just the same since so many years, but I was not happy. I missed falling in love.

In the month of Feb, something strange started happening. Someone started dropping cute cardboard messages in my mail box. (Well, I hoped it were a 'he' doing it! LOL!).

I loved the gesture. He didn't write his name. Soon I forgot about it.
After a week, to my surprise, he dropped two.

I wondered who it could be. 
Someone from my class? Someone I knew? Or someone who wanted to know me? Or....just....someone....!! 
*Perplexed* !! :-/
I started observing guys at my study, started searching for behavioral differences to find out who it was. But, everything was just normal. I did not tell anyone about this, not even Rachel, my closest pal.
After another week, he dropped three! :-O :-O

I did not know how to react. I was both happy and sad. Happy that someone loved me. Sad because I didn't know who he was! :'(

I was trying to recall the handwriting but it didn't help! :-/
Two weeks passed by and nothing happened. One day I gotta call from an unknown number from a public booth. I said, "Hello". A male voice said, "Hello there, You sound as sweet as candy". Before I could say anything else he disconnected the call. I concluded that it was the same guy. Such things have never happened to me before.The very next day, he dropped a card.

This was insane. I was irritated. What was it with him? Was he that scared to reveal his identity. His cards were so cute and lovely and I loved it totally. I wanted to meet him. Next day, I went to class, I found a card on my desk! I was shell- shocked. 

I turned here and there to see who it was. And when i turned back the card was missing. How could that happen? There was no one in front of me. How did it disappear? It was strange and a little scary. The same day, at the McDs counter, to my utter shock I found a card:

That day, I came back home and found a card in my mail box which said:

I wish he reveals his identity one day. Because I'm in search of true love.
Cardboard guy. If you are reading this, "Whoever you are. Where ever you'r from. I know you love me. I love you too. Meet me ASAP"

16 September 2011

September 2, 2011

Amma's girl

Since my childhood, I loved dressing up. Trying out Amma’s Kanjeevaram Silk Sarees. Wrapping it around myself and getting lost inside it, when I was in 5th grade. Then getting scolded from her for crumpling it. Done it so many times. But, I never gave up! Then, complaining to Paati about Amma for scolding me. Hehe. ;-)

Trying out Amma’s heels, and walking around the house like a model. Yes, I have done that! (Don’t laugh :-P)
Putting 'pottu' and stacking up her 'valayal', and seeing how I would look. I was so young, but these things fascinated me a lot. 

"I idealized my Amma, her grace, her elegance." 

I wanted to be like her, when I would grow up. Every time Amma would buy a saree, I would accompany her. I would give my opinion about the saree. There have been days on which, I would be alone at home, and I was told to study. Amma and Appa would have gone out to get the groceries. And to their shock, they would come back and find me clad in a saree and spending countless number of hours in front of the mirror. I would drape it in all possible fashions and admire myself ;-)

I was no where even near being called a beautiful girl during schooling. I firmly believed that I was ugly. 

"I wanted to be like Amma, look like Amma." 

Time flew, I got busy with studies and soon I was in 12th grade. And yes, It was farewell. The excitement was in the air. Finally, the day came when I could wear a saree, outside, for the first time. My classmates were going to shop for some designer collection sarees and its corresponding matching accessories. I liked the idea, but I didn’t want to buy a new one.

I wanted to wear Amma’s saree. I wanted to look like her. I had grown taller than her, and resembled her. But, I wasn't a carbon copy of her.

"She had the perfect face, perfect eyes, perfect nose, perfect lips. Perfect everything."

 Damn! I used to think that I’m  just not enough genetically blessed. But, now I thought I didn’t look bad. I chose an old silk double- shaded grayish-purplish saree of Ammas’. It was Appa’s favorite too.

Finally the day had come, and I draped it all by myself. [By now I had mastered the art of elegantly draping a saree, you know why ;-)] I liked it simple. I was tall. I looked decent. 'Her' gold earrings. 'Her' gold chain. Two of 'her' bangles on my right hand. And 'her' watch on my left hand. 'Her' anklets. 'Her' heels. Pottu, ofcourse. I had long curly thick hair and I left it open. My Paati exclaimed, "Kozhandaiku iyengarkalai vandhuruthu!!". She had tears in her eyes. It suddenly dawned on me that I wasn't a kid anymore. :-) 

Amma hugged me and said, "You look gorgeous, Divs. God bless you".

Love you Amma.
Will always be Amma's girl. :-)

P.S.-  This post contains some words in the South Indian language, "Tamil".
(Pronounced as "ta-mi-zh") pertaining to the state, Tamil Nadu, India.

  • "Amma" means Mother. 
  • "Appa" means Father.
  • "Paati" means Grandmother.
  • "Valayal" means Bangles
  • "Pottu"="Bindi" is used to decorate the area between the eyebrows. The place is said to be the sixth chakra, the seat of "concealed wisdom". According to followers of Hinduism, the bindi is said to retain energy and strengthen concentration. Both married as well as unmarried women adorn a bindi.  
  • "Kozhandaiku iyengarkalai vandhuruthu!!"means that, "My child has become lady-like now and looks like a typical beautiful Tamil- Bramhin girl"
  • More info-


Finding the real you

Life is a roller-coaster ride. From the start till the stop.
Yes, you heard me right!
Initially we are not aware of many things around us. Many things are masked. Our mind is clogged, and finally someday you realize what’s really happening around you. This realization comes with maturity, it depends on the surroundings in which you are being brought up, not only that, I say. There is something which I call “preferential absorption”. You choose what to hear and what not to. You choose what to do and what not to! You might not be open to all ideas. Also depends on what kinda people you interact with and how well you incorporate stuff in your life. And also how much you are influenced by the people you are associated with. I would classify the journey of a person’s life in five phases. It varies from person to person when he/she enters which phase at what age. Well, I wouldn’t say the sooner the better. The wiser the better. The phases being:

        1. An Introvert
        2. The Transition
        3. An Extrovert
        4. Moderation
        5. A Balanced Life

Think about it !!!
Who are you really ??  I’m not talking about the you in the world yesterday, today or tomorrow!
I’m talking about the you "you" !!!
Are you living the life of a person really whom you want to be or are you living someone else’s dream???  Do you often ape someone else’s style?
I often find people restricting themselves from being what they really wanna be in the world out there!
Why are they doing so?? Bothered about your image ? What will he/she think ??
Because you don’t wanna be the black sheep of your family?? Blah Blah!

Waadddeverrrrr !!!!

The First Phase- The Introvert!
Yes, we all very well know an introvert. In the protective shell of his parents. Happy in his own life. Satisfied. Likes solitude. A loner. Family is more important than anyone else in this world. Feels comfortable at home. Doesn’t like going out with friends. Likely to be studious. Scientist-types. Sensible. Knows self- control. Usually doesn’t abuse. Has an un-cool image among peers. Knows right and wrong. Not- expressive. Not worldly- wise. Kinda dumb. Silent. Usually intellectual. Often religious. His mom would have been the most beautiful girl he would have seen in his life. LOL!! (he’s too lost to notice a girl in class). Life is simple. Peaceful. Decent. Unaware of the jargon used by peers.

The Second Phase- The Transition!
At some point of time, such a person will express his views to the outwardly world through a medium.
The medium being, in my honest opinion, “Social Networking !!!!!”
Facebook, Twitter etc serve as a platform for introverts to transform into extroverts. I have seen introverts, who are big time social networking addicts! If you befriend them there you’ll not have the slightest idea of such a character being an introvert or a loner in their real life!
They are a totally different person out there!! So, does this mean that it’s a place to escape??
Some people vent out their thing through a drawing or a piece of poetry. They find different modes of expressing themselves! You might argue by saying these things are hobbies rather not excuses for escapism.
But, haven’t you ever noticed. A hidden character cannot be hidden for a long time!
It comes out some time some day or the other!
What ever they draw or write, will be starkly different from their outwardly character, and will get you wondering, can THIS person write like this??? You might think, “I can never ever even imagine this person thinking like this!!!” You would be dumbstruck to find that, yes, it’s true!! Often people portray what they would love to portray in real life, virtually. Social networking sites make life easy for such people.

The Third Phase- The Extrovert!
Now he’s totally outta his shell. Found among girls. Paints the town red. Free bird. Independent. Smart. Dashing. COOL. Doesn’t think before talking. “Dude” kinds! The blue-eyed boy. The talk of the town. Often gets into bad habits due to peer pressure. Will know all the stats of the girls in class. LOL. Maybe he dreamed of such a life since so many years. With a constant bunch of friends doing hehe haha hoho all the time! Random talks! Senseless-chit-chats! Road-trips! Beach-parties! Rain-dances! Clubs n Pubs! Etcetera etcetera! Boozing. Smoking. Abusing. Gets into drugs. Rehab. Does it all!! ;-)

The Fourth Phase- Moderation- Retrospect your life !!
His life has been a rollercoaster ride, LITERALLY. What was he so long ago, and what has he become now!! He feels like a pendulum, as if he has swayed from one extreme end to another. [*Nothing in excess is good*] Self- pity. Regret. Curses himself. De-addicting oneself from drugs, cigarettes and drinks is a big deal. Finally, he realizes, anything should be done in moderation. Else, it invites trouble. Oh boy, is he in trouble now or what!!

The Fifth Phase- A Balanced Life!!
The realization of doing everything in life optimally dawns on him!!! One can’t cry over spilt milk. Now he knows the world. The world laughs with you when you laugh, but when you cry, you are left alone. There is not even a single shoulder for him to rest on. Think a million times before calling a person your best friend/ or before saying, “this is my group/gang”. In the beginning of a journey you might have 20 people with you, who would claim to be your good friends. At the end, you’ll be just left with one or two. Yes, they are your true friends. So, basically in this phase you get the hang of what actually is and what is not. Now he does what is good, what he is supposed to do, what he is ought to do! Rather than what the world does, blindly. All this glam sham, party sharty is *bakwaas*!!! He reaches equanimity with all the parameters in his life and he feels good from within. Finally he leads a balanced life- the way it’s supposed to be.

Ideally Speaking !!

Ideally I would say, if a person skips the extrovert phase. It’s good. Knowledge is important. Being worldly-wise is important. But implementing every damn thing you learn/know in life is foolish. There is a certain time and age for experiencing some things. Knowingly doing something which is bad or harmful is utter foolishness. You will find a handful of people like that!

P.S : All the *his* in the post applicable to *her*, also. :-)
[I don't want anyone saying that i'm biased. LOL!!! :-P :-P]