September 2, 2011

Finding the real you

Life is a roller-coaster ride. From the start till the stop.
Yes, you heard me right!
Initially we are not aware of many things around us. Many things are masked. Our mind is clogged, and finally someday you realize what’s really happening around you. This realization comes with maturity, it depends on the surroundings in which you are being brought up, not only that, I say. There is something which I call “preferential absorption”. You choose what to hear and what not to. You choose what to do and what not to! You might not be open to all ideas. Also depends on what kinda people you interact with and how well you incorporate stuff in your life. And also how much you are influenced by the people you are associated with. I would classify the journey of a person’s life in five phases. It varies from person to person when he/she enters which phase at what age. Well, I wouldn’t say the sooner the better. The wiser the better. The phases being:

        1. An Introvert
        2. The Transition
        3. An Extrovert
        4. Moderation
        5. A Balanced Life

Think about it !!!
Who are you really ??  I’m not talking about the you in the world yesterday, today or tomorrow!
I’m talking about the you "you" !!!
Are you living the life of a person really whom you want to be or are you living someone else’s dream???  Do you often ape someone else’s style?
I often find people restricting themselves from being what they really wanna be in the world out there!
Why are they doing so?? Bothered about your image ? What will he/she think ??
Because you don’t wanna be the black sheep of your family?? Blah Blah!

Waadddeverrrrr !!!!

The First Phase- The Introvert!
Yes, we all very well know an introvert. In the protective shell of his parents. Happy in his own life. Satisfied. Likes solitude. A loner. Family is more important than anyone else in this world. Feels comfortable at home. Doesn’t like going out with friends. Likely to be studious. Scientist-types. Sensible. Knows self- control. Usually doesn’t abuse. Has an un-cool image among peers. Knows right and wrong. Not- expressive. Not worldly- wise. Kinda dumb. Silent. Usually intellectual. Often religious. His mom would have been the most beautiful girl he would have seen in his life. LOL!! (he’s too lost to notice a girl in class). Life is simple. Peaceful. Decent. Unaware of the jargon used by peers.

The Second Phase- The Transition!
At some point of time, such a person will express his views to the outwardly world through a medium.
The medium being, in my honest opinion, “Social Networking !!!!!”
Facebook, Twitter etc serve as a platform for introverts to transform into extroverts. I have seen introverts, who are big time social networking addicts! If you befriend them there you’ll not have the slightest idea of such a character being an introvert or a loner in their real life!
They are a totally different person out there!! So, does this mean that it’s a place to escape??
Some people vent out their thing through a drawing or a piece of poetry. They find different modes of expressing themselves! You might argue by saying these things are hobbies rather not excuses for escapism.
But, haven’t you ever noticed. A hidden character cannot be hidden for a long time!
It comes out some time some day or the other!
What ever they draw or write, will be starkly different from their outwardly character, and will get you wondering, can THIS person write like this??? You might think, “I can never ever even imagine this person thinking like this!!!” You would be dumbstruck to find that, yes, it’s true!! Often people portray what they would love to portray in real life, virtually. Social networking sites make life easy for such people.

The Third Phase- The Extrovert!
Now he’s totally outta his shell. Found among girls. Paints the town red. Free bird. Independent. Smart. Dashing. COOL. Doesn’t think before talking. “Dude” kinds! The blue-eyed boy. The talk of the town. Often gets into bad habits due to peer pressure. Will know all the stats of the girls in class. LOL. Maybe he dreamed of such a life since so many years. With a constant bunch of friends doing hehe haha hoho all the time! Random talks! Senseless-chit-chats! Road-trips! Beach-parties! Rain-dances! Clubs n Pubs! Etcetera etcetera! Boozing. Smoking. Abusing. Gets into drugs. Rehab. Does it all!! ;-)

The Fourth Phase- Moderation- Retrospect your life !!
His life has been a rollercoaster ride, LITERALLY. What was he so long ago, and what has he become now!! He feels like a pendulum, as if he has swayed from one extreme end to another. [*Nothing in excess is good*] Self- pity. Regret. Curses himself. De-addicting oneself from drugs, cigarettes and drinks is a big deal. Finally, he realizes, anything should be done in moderation. Else, it invites trouble. Oh boy, is he in trouble now or what!!

The Fifth Phase- A Balanced Life!!
The realization of doing everything in life optimally dawns on him!!! One can’t cry over spilt milk. Now he knows the world. The world laughs with you when you laugh, but when you cry, you are left alone. There is not even a single shoulder for him to rest on. Think a million times before calling a person your best friend/ or before saying, “this is my group/gang”. In the beginning of a journey you might have 20 people with you, who would claim to be your good friends. At the end, you’ll be just left with one or two. Yes, they are your true friends. So, basically in this phase you get the hang of what actually is and what is not. Now he does what is good, what he is supposed to do, what he is ought to do! Rather than what the world does, blindly. All this glam sham, party sharty is *bakwaas*!!! He reaches equanimity with all the parameters in his life and he feels good from within. Finally he leads a balanced life- the way it’s supposed to be.

Ideally Speaking !!

Ideally I would say, if a person skips the extrovert phase. It’s good. Knowledge is important. Being worldly-wise is important. But implementing every damn thing you learn/know in life is foolish. There is a certain time and age for experiencing some things. Knowingly doing something which is bad or harmful is utter foolishness. You will find a handful of people like that!

P.S : All the *his* in the post applicable to *her*, also. :-)
[I don't want anyone saying that i'm biased. LOL!!! :-P :-P]



  1. i dont agree with defination of extrovert . u cant mix boozing smoking drinking girls etc habbit with gang of frnds who chit chat .

  2. With a constant bunch of friends doing hehe haha hoho all the time! Random talks! Senseless-chit-chats! Road-trips! Beach-parties! Rain-dances! Clubs n Pubs! Etcetera etcetera! Boozing. Smoking. Abusing. Gets into drugs. Rehab. Does it all!! ;-)""how can u mix boozing smoking drugs with knowing about girls or having gfs or road trips rain dances?""for example i may be 1 half and not 2 half :P

    1. See, what i was trying to convey is that, an introvert will never do these things. And i agree that all these are not concrete definitions for an extrovert. Some things are good, and some things are bad. But, i never classified being an introvert as good, and an extrovert as bad. Both an introvert n an extrovert has good n bad qualities/ habits. And that is why i said about the next phase, moderation. I never mentioned about having a gf anywhere in the post. I did not mention the term girlfriend anywhere. It's a personal choice. :-) :-)

  3. Certainly an insightful analysis. Good to know your perspective!

  4. Why should one skip the Extrovert phase? Because you did? Expect an answer...

    1. Anything extreme is not good..well, like that even the introvert phase is at the oder extreme...but that's how it cant skip that phase..! This post may or may not have relevance with my life... And that's why i said ideally speaking its good to skip the extrovert phase...Living a life of moderation is the best... Hope u got ur EXPECTED answer !!!!

  5. Answer please, Miss Freud-meets-Jung-meets-Kierkegaard. An answer, pretty please? Stand up for your words, if nothing else or they sound hollow.

    1. Answered..!! I would like u to stand up for your identity first, gr8 job, Mr. Anonymous!

  6. I am Anonymous Part 2. Until 7 years ago, I thought Anonymous was an actual person.

    If a child, who learns by example, is born to extrovert parents. Will he or she still be an introvert?

    1. There are two things to this; one is genetic basic character it gets from his/ her parents, which might necessarily not be in favor of being an extrovert. Secondly, its totally upto the parents, as to how they wannna bring up their child irrespective of how they are. Children at a young age can be molded in any form. Maybe they dont want to see their kid doing the same mistakes they did/ or maybe they want their kid to have a life they had. So, it all depends. If a conscious effort is made then, anything can be achieved.
      But again, if the child solely grows up seeing their parents in that manner then...again, it might try to ape them, or might even not, again depends on the basic genetic built of the child. Hope you are convinced with my reply. Cheers.

  7. I call myself an extrovert but I don't drink and I still feels my mom is most beautiful woman on planet.A person can be extrovert or introvert throughout his life then how can you classify it as a phase. These are my two small doubts.Writing wise this post is Marvelous:):)