Baltimore to Bhagalpur

As I walk towards the International Departure, I turn behind, wave and bid him goodbye. He waves back to me. I control my tears; take in a big gulp of sadness and with a deep sigh I continue walking.

I kept walking. I wanted to turn again and see him. But I didn’t.

I checked-in at the airport and collected my boarding pass. I had asked for an aisle seat. After the emigration, I started walking towards Gate 21 to board my flight. Pre-occupied, I forgot to mention my frequent flyer number. I walked all the way back, irritated, because of my stupidity, I got a new boarding pass with my frequent flyer number mentioned on the boarding pass, I started walking towards gate 21, again.

After an hours’ wait at the lounge, I board my flight. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. It was as if time had frozen. It was as if that one hour had sixty deadly minutes which in-turn had three thousand six hundred pricking seconds. My mind was cluttered with morose thoughts. I couldn’t imagine a week away from him, but I couldn’t bring him along with me. I had to leave on a very short notice.

He is my life and I love him more than myself. :-)

As soon as boarding was announced, everyone rushed to the counter. It looked as if it were a, ‘Who gets in first’ race! I waited patiently, for the restless, rather excited idiotic crowd to clear. I boarded the flight, fastened my seat belt, switched off my mobile and took a deep sigh. A few more hours of solitude, mid-air, without him. The very thought was driving me insane. I kept thinking what he would be doing back at home. But I had no choice. Ever since I have been with him, I have never been away from him. I think I need him more than he needs me.

He is my life, my everything! :-)

Boeing 757, Seat C4, Twenty two thousand feet above sea level and the only thing I can think of is him. The craft swayed like a pendulum, due to the turbulence caused by the air-pockets in the clouds. I was scared of heights and confined spaces, and the turbulence scared me even more. I started chanting Hanuman Chalisa. Felt better, but was thinking about him all-the-more.

I tried distracting myself, tried doing the cryptic crossword and the Sudoku, read the comic strips, my horoscope forecast for the month, the weather forecast etc. All my efforts to cheer myself up went in vain. I couldn’t concentrate. I was missing him, a lot.

He is my life, my everything, my Rohit ! :-)

The craft landed in Patna after the jolty journey. The wheels creaked along the runway; it was a horrible landing. After taxing for about fifteen minutes, it came to a halt. I switched on my mobile. Got a ‘Airtel welcomes you to Bihar’ sms :-) People rushed out, ran towards the immigration hall, and then to collect their luggage. I went out at my pace. Patna wasn’t my destination. Bhagalpur was, I had to travel more. Hmmm. *Sigh*

Getting back home in India was unavoidable. There were some legal issues which I had to settle in my home town, Bhagalpur. I had some self-centered, narrow- minded, good-for-nothing, stubborn, irritating, orthodox relatives in town, but they just added to more trouble and misery. My parents were no more. They passed away a year ago. I was better off alone in the city, I did not inform anyone about my coming. I wanted to wrap up my work as soon as possible and get back to him. I had settled abroad after specializing in ‘Psychology’, which was my passion and profession. I admit, I’m one of the very few people who get to have the same profession as their passion. I’m very happy about that. :-D

After five days of running around in the scorching and blistering heat, assimilating the correct documents, following up useless government officials who come to work late and leave before time and keep expecting a bribe every single time, getting their signatures and seals, arghh! Finally I was through with all the work. I was relieved. Phew!

I went to my native temple, sat at my favorite place, meditated for a while, I waited to see the evening aarti. It was very peaceful. I visited the places I had lived during my childhood. The familiar lanes, cinema halls, shops, the big banyan tree, the lucky well, Bhola Ram’s dhaaba, Laljeet’s sweet shop. I was happy to see all these places after so many years. Unfortunately I lost contact with all my friends. I’m not on any social networking sites and I’m bad at maintaining contacts. I’m pretty much of an introvert and I love my privacy. I was hoping to bump into a known face, well, that didn’t happen. I had a lovely day, visiting all these places, but wanted to go back to see him, it was high time I left for Baltimore.

I work in Baltimore since twelve years; live with Rohit, my adopted son.

We have a dog Dora, I found her on the streets, I got her home :-)

I’m a single mom, a spinster, my name is Raagini.
He is my life, my everything, my Rohit, my son :-)

9th July 2011

Express It, I Say !!

“They do not love that do not show their love” - William Shakespeare

Relationship management is the need of the hour! Be it for your parents, friends or girlfriends! Whether you’re in a relationship or whether you are married! Expressing your love is equally important as being committed, loyal and truthful to that person! Coming to the moot point, I think love can be expressed in many forms, by our words, our actions, our gestures, our body language etc, but the important thing is to express it! 

If you love her, tell her that as many times as u want to, make life exciting; plan a surprise; if it’s her birthday, make her a hand made card, order a cake, buy her a gift, light up the house with candles! She's upto some work? Take her by surprise, hug her, kiss her, cuddle her! Make that person feel special! Make that someone know how much they are loved, being cared for and are being thought of every second! Of course we are talking about true emotions and feelings here! We are not doing anything for the heck of doing it! Pour it out! Its high time you vent out your feelings!

What are we living for after all; it is these small things that make life exciting! But the important thing is to express it! Isn’t life too short? Why waste time hating someone or having grudges! And only the people who love/ care for us will tell us what is good/bad for us! Definitely you need to be yourself but, in a new relationship, we have to adjust and adapt and give it our best :-) :-) Be flexible, welcome changes and accept the situation! Its more important to think what is good for US rather what is good for ME ! :-) Being selfish isn’t going to help at all!

And I do not say that only buying a gift or giving your sweetheart a surprise will make him/her happy, the intention behind the action is important, the gesture is what counts! :-) It's just about the way you express it!!! It’s not about being materialistic or being a spendthrift! 

Be a bit protective, show that you care! :-)

Give her a map which says, "I can never be lost with you around." Or give her a pocket dictionary and write "You" as the meaning next to the word "Life", mark the page and give it to her "Without you, life would have no meaning." Be creative, be unique, but whatever you do, express it, I say! :-D

It is said that the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched- they must be felt with the heart, then why not tell that special person how much they mean to you!

But as powerful as words can get, they also can become tarnished, weakened and crumble unless they are backed up with actions that prove you mean what you say!

Even if you are saying the right words to your better half, if they are not said in the right way, they will be useless. 

Life is very short guys, education takes up half of it! Enjoy the other half with your better half in a wholesome way!

I conclude by saying, give your relationships your best, be expressive guys, its worth it!  :-)

2nd July 2011