March 20, 2011

From Dilemma ~ To Decision

The little Indian girl
She sees her life...
Molded by traditions,
Governed by priorities,
Restricted by thought.

She, is in search of her soul mate..
With her eyes closed
Yet wide awake
What people need
Is an insight
Of her plight!

What is considered, bad, is not actually bad !
And what is good, is not all that good !
How it is to kill
Her feelings for the one she loves,
Because of some damn rule
Hindu, Christian and Muslim!!
OMG !!!
An ever changing opinion!
Always a hot topic for discussion!
Sometimes is said, we all are one!
LOL !!
But when it comes our own life!
One is considered superior, over the other..

As she stands on a cross-road
Always having to choose
A different path

What kind of indifference is this?
Where she has to think twice
Before loving a person
Of a different caste or religion
She always has to think
About the consequences
No! This is not a sin, neither a crime!
But, she will lose her kins
Due to the totally unexpected and
alarming situation

To love someone, is just to love someone
Have you ever had the feeling of
Falling head over heals for someone ;-)
It’s only about
Following your heart
There HE comes
In a flash!
And swipes you off your feet! (Woohoo!!! :-P)

But who’ll understand her grief
She is torn between two sides
Unable to decide
Her wish just remains a wish,
An unheeded wish

It’s when she sees him, and just him,
Just as an individual, a great soul
In want to share her life with him
She is blind to differentiate
Between a Hindu/ Muslim/ Christian!
It’s easy to say...
Dreams are free, so free your dreams!
I’d rather say!
Stop dreaming, wake up!!!

People are not ready to move on
And don’t let others too!
India’s specialty also
Remarks the prevalence of
Narrow minded and stubborn people

Tortured and tormented
By the very thought
Of betraying her kins
Saddens her
She decides to go with her family
The unconditional love from her parents
Is something she’ll never forget
So finally this little Indian girl
Does what she’s "supposed" to do
Gets married to the “CHOSEN ONE”
Lives happily ever after
But resolves in her mind
To give this freedom to her children
Love is a universal feeling
Love sees no caste or religion
Love has no restrictions
Of course, some rules are meant to be broken ;-)
Life goes on
And she lives with a hope that
At least this dream of hers comes true.

February 2010


  1. divya, you've bared your soul in this post!!!The conflicting emotions (undergone by the little indian girl here) sound very familiar;-)!!!
    But,IMHO, she can never be "happy" with the "chosen" one if she (had) ever "loved" someone else!!!!! the ghost of her past will haunt her forever and she'll end up fantasizing on how life would hav been, if she had followed her heart !!!sometimes, its necessary to take some bold decisions without waiting to hand over such privileges to the forthcoming generations!!!!

    Bt, itz a wonderful post with an awesome flow of thoughts!!!

  2. That was a nice post. Made sense.. A lot...

    Love is just a part of life. I do not accept that it is difficult to live a life when the girl had loved someone in her past. We talked about love being universal right!! I feel that there is no difference between the kinds of love, between parent and child or a man and a woman. I don't see such differentiation.

    Love is just a blissful emotion while marriage is love plus commitment. If I have two or more siblings, I would love them equally right? Does it impose any restriction? In the same way, I feel that even though the gal had loved someone in her youth, that would never restrict her to fall in love/be loved by a person she is married to. She can totally do that.

    And as I've said Swetha's post too. The whole beauty of AM lies when you accept in it totally that what you are doing is right. I personally never trash culture and customs. Love might not see caste/religion but marriage certainly does. That's what I feel. :)

    Nice post dee !! You made me think, Cant belive that I wrote a blogpost here :D

  3. You've portrayed the feelings of the 'Little Indian girl' very well. But I feel happy for that girl for not going foolishly behind her dreams. Everything seems nice only the beginning ;)
    And I don't think half the Indian girls of this generation choose the unconditional love of their parents to the conditional love of their boyfriend :P

    Nice work :)

  4. @ are right...These days i rarely see girls who choose their parents over their boyfriends...and thats sick!!..girls should know their priorities...good, u highlighted this point !! :-):-) Bravo !! <3

    @ Vamsi...I agree with you..with marriage comes commitment and loyalty...and yes, the beauty of arranged marriages lies in the very fact that we believe in it whole-heartedly...i'm quoting your lines..."Love might not see caste/religion but marriage certainly does"...True !! True !! True !!
    Gosh !! I so wish that at least half of the guys on earth, would be as sensible as you !! ;-) :-P
    And, you are the.....
    "Baap of Bloggers"!!, even a single line u write looks like a blog to me !! i have already told you, you have been one of the biggest inspirations for me to start blogging! :-))

    @ Swetha...It's all in the mind gal...Yes...maybe the girl would think about having (had) a better life with her college sweetheart...but is it really feasible???...i'd prefer going for an arranged marriage instead of having temporary affairs in college...all these lovey-dovey things sound good !!..but really doesn't work out !!..again, yes, in life, at times, some bold decisions have to be totally depends on the girl..she might end up being the black sheep of the family..but if doing so gives her happiness, she will anyway do it !!

  5. @divya mohan:
    1) "love in college" is NOT equivalent to temporary affairs( itz sad that this has become a popular notion)!!
    2)By following her heart, the girl doesn't become the black sheep of her family!!(If the family shuns her, then the family needs some enlightenment!!:-p)
    3)to think that "somethings" won't work out, without giving it a try is, well,what shall i say ??
    4) we live for "ourselves" more than for the

    @vamsi: PMJI: to quote shakespeare(loosely):
    "the man must be the woman's first love and the woman must be the man's last love!!"
    (love between a man and woman is definitely different from that a parent and child, again IMHO.. if it wer the same, none of us would "look" for "love"...parents give it to us in abundance".so, what's the need??)
    (we may love our siblings equally, but, we can't take someone else for a mother/ father, right?? isn't the status exclusive???)

    (*wow!! and i can't believe i've contributed another blogpost here ;-D*)

    You n Vamsi take the main lead...I'd be the spectator !! :-P
    Hmmm...i see you have got a be precise, 4 points :-P
    But see, till school, we all were so-much-into-studies, unlike in college.;-)
    So, coll becomes a major part of our life where we can choose what to do, and yes, i do agree, we do come across some really good guys here(unlike in your batch :-P)...but, at the end its the gal's wish to get involved in any kinda relationship or not! it all, again depends on the girl's upbringing and what she likes to choose over what!!
    By following her heart in this case, the girl does become the black sheep of her family, provided she belongs to an orthodox family..!! where everything except an arranged marriage is a BIG NO, having a boyfriend is like the biggest sin ever and thinking about any other guy in "that way" is totally immoral !
    In such cases/ families i guess even cupid would say,"I give up!!"
    And about giving it a try, we just have one life, i'd really not go for this hit-and-trial method, i would prefer an assured life rather than an uncertain one.
    and finally, yeah! we truly live for ourselves, but our actions and decisions do change for the people we love.
    And thats what i wanted to convey here. its all upto the gal, is her life, her wish, her decision!!!

  7. Okay! Last but not the least, here goes my take on this whole thing. I completely agree with you DM. We are shackled by the very many restrictions of caste, religion etc. but in my personal opinion, I feel that even if two people of different castes fall in love, things may seem rosy at the beginning but the differences start showing up at some stage or another. Ofc, this cannot be generalized and I certainly do not deny the fact that this is not very likely to happen in AMs. The prime difference however lies in the fact that you have family support all through in AMs and that gives anybody and everybody a huge degree of moral support. After all, it is human tendency to feel that one has made a grave mistake if the same happens in a love marriage. This would only make the relationship weaker. Secondly, I agree with Bhagya's view. Whatever it is, our parents who have been instrumental in every success of our yet, deserve to voice out their opinions on this issue as well. I am not against love marriages or falling in love before marriage but I feel that it is just a way by which people go mining for their soul mate way earlier in order to find that one person in this busy world who can listen to you vent out your feelings. It is not difficult to fall in love. One can very well be happily in love in an AM as well!!

    PS: Hahaha! Mine is the longest comment :P

  8. @ Divya Ravi.. Yep, congrats on having the longest comment :-)
    I couldn't have agreed with you more ! Cheers ! <3

  9. Awesome..... n true.... I lik d way u thnk.... Bt d endin shudn hav been a tragedy.... The poor lil Indian gal...:-((

  10. I like the content, and also some comments. It's a quite debatable topic and I see really good arguments.

    Good luck with writing more!

  11. Superb my eyes are filled with tears. May god bless you the writing skills for the years to come...!

    All the best

    Santhosh Ganesh

  12. As uzzzual, beautiphully ritten Divya.Romba nalla writed :)

    Being in a relationship is an experience in itself.Whether that relationship culminates into a fruitful marriage is another story. If it does, it is indeed a happy kahani. But often, after marriage reality dawns in, and exposes aspects of each other you either overlooked or did'nt notice.

    And the whole AM vs LM thing is blown up. Bloody hell! it's not the type of marriage which determines the quality, longevity of companionship. It is the nature of intimacy, inner bonding.

    Two books- 24 hour marriage and 50-50 marriage by Vijay Ngaswami are recommended for those seeking further insights.

    1. Hehe! Thanks a lot! :):) Well yeah, what you said is true. Thanks for the recommendations for those books! :) :)