Amma's girl

Since my childhood, I loved dressing up. Trying out Amma’s Kanjeevaram Silk Sarees. Wrapping it around myself and getting lost inside it, when I was in 5^th grade. Then getting scolded from her for crumpling it. Done it so many times. But, I never gave up! Then, complaining to Paati about Amma for scolding me. Hehe. ;-)

Trying out Amma’s heels, and walking around the house like a model. Yes, I have done that! (Don’t laugh :-P)
Putting 'pottu' and stacking up her 'valayal', and seeing how I would look. I was so young, but these things fascinated me a lot. 

"I idealized my Amma, her grace, her elegance." 

I wanted to be like her, when I would grow up. Every time Amma would buy a saree, I would accompany her. I would give my opinion about the saree. There have been days on which, I would be alone at home, and I was told to study. Amma and Appa would have gone out to get the groceries. And to their shock, they would come back and find me clad in a saree and spending countless number of hours in front of the mirror. I would drape it in all possible fashions and admire myself ;-)

I was no where even near being called a beautiful girl during schooling. I firmly believed that I was ugly. 

"I wanted to be like Amma, look like Amma." 

Time flew, I got busy with studies and soon I was in 12^th grade. And yes, It was farewell. The excitement was in the air. Finally, the day came when I could wear a saree, outside, for the first time. My classmates were going to shop for some designer collection sarees and its corresponding matching accessories. I liked the idea, but I didn’t want to buy a new one.

I wanted to wear Amma’s saree. I wanted to look like her. I had grown taller than her, and resembled her. But, I wasn't a carbon copy of her.


"She had the perfect face, perfect eyes, perfect nose, perfect lips. Perfect everything."

 Damn! I used to think that I’m  just not enough genetically blessed. But, now I thought I didn’t look bad. I chose an old silk double- shaded grayish-purplish saree of Ammas’. It was Appa’s favorite too.

Finally the day had come, and I draped it all by myself. [By now I had mastered the art of elegantly draping a saree, you know why ;-)] I liked it simple. I was tall. I looked decent. 'Her' gold earrings. 'Her' gold chain. Two of 'her' bangles on my right hand. And 'her' watch on my left hand. 'Her' anklets. 'Her' heels. Pottu, ofcourse. I had long curly thick hair and I left it open. My Paati exclaimed, "Kozhandaiku iyengarkalai vandhuruthu!!". She had tears in her eyes. It suddenly dawned on me that I wasn't a kid anymore. :-) 

Amma hugged me and said, "You look gorgeous, Divs. God bless you".

Love you Amma.
Will always be Amma's girl. :-)


P.S.-  This post contains some words in the South Indian language, "Tamil".
(Pronounced as "ta-mi-zh") pertaining to the state, Tamil Nadu, India.

• "Amma" means Mother. 
• "Appa" means Father.
• "Paati" means Grandmother.
• "Valayal" means Bangles
• "Pottu"="Bindi" is used to decorate the area between the eyebrows. The place is said to be the sixth chakra, the seat of "concealed wisdom". According to followers of Hinduism, the bindi is said to retain energy and strengthen concentration. Both married as well as unmarried women adorn a bindi.  
• "Kozhandaiku iyengarkalai vandhuruthu!!"means that, "My child has become lady-like now and looks like a typical beautiful Tamil- Bramhin girl"
• More info-  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamil_Brahmin
                   - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iyengar

02-09-2011